Just Want To Be Loved
by Umm.I Guess
Summary: What happens when Spencer gets fed up with Ashley's infidelity? Will she stay? Or will their supposedly strong relationship crumble? This is just a short intro! please R
1. Chapter 1

**_Wow. I can't believe this. She did it…again. You're probably wondering what I'm talking about by now. Well, here it is; "The One and Only Ashley Davies (Rockstar Extraordinaire)" has cheated on me for the third and very last time. I'm done. Completely. You know what they say "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." And I've played the fool too many times in this relationship. I thought she would change after the first time, so I forgave her. The second, Kyla begged me swearing it was the last time. What an idiot I am, seriously. It's always the same excuse; "I was drunk" or "She seduced me." She even tried to lie to me after I caught her in our bed. Our bed. This time though there was no excuse. Her slurred words saying, "I didn't know you were coming home early." Was that seriously the best she could do? Is that even semi close to anything I deserve? I gave her eight years of my life, and in return I get the minimal amount of "I love you's" and more of the "I'm sorry's." The divorce papers are in the proceedings and I'm signing them with no hesitation, but heavily filled with regret for the time I wasted on her._**


	2. Chapter 2

The sun breaks through my window pulling me from my slumber. I lean back against the bed and I began to think back to when I was a kid at six years old. I woke up calling for my parents one night because I had had a bad dream about tootsie rolls eating me alive. I was so scared because it felt so real, like it was actually happening. My mother and father came and calmed me down, and after explaining to them my dream they diagnosed that I had had the dream because I had eaten about sixty tootsie rolls earlier that day. It made sense, you know? Something happening because of something you did to cause it. I always believed that you are in charge of everything that happens in your life, simply because you control your choices and the actions that follow them. So I try to think hard of any reason why I deserved this; falling in love at 16, with a girl nonetheless, marrying that same girl at 22, and divorcing her a mere 2 years later because of her infidelity. Is it so horrible to want a monogamous relationship with someone you truly love? It's moments like these where I wish to just go back to my childhood and retain that level of innocence I once had.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts again, this time by my cell phone.

"Hello" I answer.

"Hey, it's me," Its Kyla, my best friend also known as Ashley's younger sister.

"Yea I do pay for caller ID you know," I joke.

"Ha-ha such a comedian you are," she replies.

"Well I do try," I answer while getting out of bed.

"Anyways, what are you doing today?" Kyla asks.

"Umm…nothing but I'm guessing you wish to be in my presence for awhile," I say conceitedly.

"Just bustin' out the jokes today, aren't you?" I mean in my opinion, I totally have a reason to be arrogant. Just joking. Maybe.

"Eh, you know I love you," I do, I truly do. Especially now that she's helping me through everything dealing with Ashley.

"You better! So I say we go for ice cream at the park and maybe watch some planes take off after," Ah, the perfect remedy!

"Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service," Yea...I just quoted Shakespeare on her.

"I love you more than words can wield the matter. Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty," Kyla replies. Oh she's good! I totally wish I fell in love with Kyla instead sometimes. Quoting Shakespeare in the early mornings, reading passages from Hamlet at night. Sound like my type of life; way better than the one I'm living now.

"You're such a goof," she says bringing me out of my thought again. What is up with people interrupting my inner ramblings all of a sudden? But, it's Kyla so I'll let it slide.

"Yet for some reason you still love me," I so know she does.

I hear a beep letting me know another call is trying to come though. It's Ashley. Gosh, she really needs to understand that I'm serious this time. Calling me a million times a day won't help her this time. And I definitely won't be answering any of them until I'm well and ready.

"She's calling you again isn't she?" Kyla says, breaking me from my staring contest with Ashley's name on my screen.

"Yea, I'm not answering as usual. She really needs to just stop. If she keeps this up I'm going to change my phone number," I say seriously.

"O geeze! Please don't! I had enough trouble remembering this one as is." Haha. She's such a goofball, always knowing how to cheer me up.

"Well I hope I don't have to," I say seriously, bringing the mood back down.

"Spence, if I didn't say this already I'm really sorry. She's blood and I've never felt more ashamed to be related to someone." That's harsh but completely understandable.

"Yea, thanks Kyla. You really are the best." I tell her truthfully.

"With that being said I'll be over in 5, that good?" Better than good actually.

"Yea I'll be listening out for you. See you in a bit." I reply

"Alrighty." I hang up and sigh at the ceiling feeling as though the weight of the world is suddenly on my shoulders. I use to once wake up and look forward to my day ahead, but now all I do is dread it from beginning to end. Becoming entranced in my thoughts again I think back to the first time Ashley broke my heart.

_**Flashback **_

_**I'm so proud of Ashley. She's becoming all she's wanted and more. I can't believe we've come this far, from us falling in love junior year to us marrying 6 years later. I feel like my life is finally complete, so much that it feels like the type of fairytale ending to a romantic children's book. That's why tonight I'm setting up a romantic dinner for us, since she just got back from her first tour and all. So its kind of a big deal to her and me as well.**_

_**Ashley's supposed to be getting back from the studio soon and I'm putting the final touches on our special dinner tonight. I made her favorite; spaghetti n' meatballs with some nice Italian garlic bread on the side. For dessert I was thinking fudge sundaes, and maybe something more. I look around at the food on the table and realize I'm missing something. Shit! I forgot to pick up some wine on the way home like I was gong to do. Ashley should be home soon, but I think I have enough time to go to the corner store about five minutes away from our condo. I grab my wallet and keys and rush out the door so I can get back in enough time.**_

_**I hurry and get the wine from the Beer n' Wine store and rush back home. It took me exceedingly longer than I wanted it to seeing as Ms. Robinson, one of our neighbors, wanted to tell me of the adventures of her newborn grandchildren and her extremely crabby cat. About thirty minutes later I finally arrive back at out building and see Ashley's car is parked, so I know she's home and probably very surprised. I run up to our apartment door and put the key in the lock and turn it just as quickly. I get inside and see the lights off, which is weird because Ashley likes to have all the lights on even when she doesn't need certain ones. I put the wine bottle on the kitchen counter and go in search of my lovely wife. I head upstairs first and see our bedroom light on through the cracked door.**_

_**Pushing open the door I scream, "Happy Anniversary ba-," but stop short at the sight I see. Ashley is on top of another girl kissing down her body like she's done to me too many times before in the same familiar path. I soon recognize the other girl to be her assistant Michelle. Ashley either doesn't hear my greeting or dismisses it, but Michelle quickly notices me standing in the doorway with tears streaming down my cheeks, gripping on the doorknob for dear life as if it can keep me from crumbling down to the floor.**_

"_**Ashley what the fuck?" I scream in what can only be described as pure agony.**_

_**She hops up and turns to look at me**_

"_**Shit Spence" She says trying to cover herself with the sheet. Really? Wow…**_

"_**I can't believe you! On our anniversary, how could you Ashley?" I say still crying and screaming at the sudden turn of events.**_

"_**I'm sorry Spence. She means nothing I swear! Please baby, I'm so sorry" Ashley says now standing in front of me trying to grab on to my hands, but I keep pulling them and myself away from her the closer she gets.**_

"_**Michelle can you please leave me and my WIFE alone?" I say holding back my tears now, and beginning to exert anger towards the situation.**_

"_**And please don't enter this house again" I add for good measure.**_

"_**I'm so sorry Spencer. I'm ju-..I'm sorry. I'll go now" Good thing she realized when she needed to step off.**_

"_**Babe, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please done leave me, please don-," Ashley says. I can hear the desperation in her voice, but I refuse to believe she's sorry for what she's done. Not when she brought another woman into our home and tries to sleep with her in our bed.**_

_**I just look at her, losing all resolve to speak and walk away and out of the house. I can hear her yelling my name as I'm walking away, but I ignore it. As I get into my car preparing to just drive, go anywhere, I realize…she didn't follow me.**_


	3. Chapter 3

I hear knocking at the door, knowing it's Kyla I quickly answer it.

"Hello my love," I greet her

"Ay homie S," her 'gansta' skills are horrible!

"Or you can just call me Spencer" I say sarcastically

"I mean…no, let's go hoe I left the car running," No idea why she did that, I move like a grandma, no offense.

"Only if you buy me food and Starbucks" gotta love Starbucks

"Well I guess I can, but only if you let me choose where we eat!" That's not so bad seeing how we eat similar foods.

"Yooouuuu betcha!" Hehe I'm such kid.

"Rightttt," I see sarcasm is her friend too.

We leave my apartment and head down to her car. As soon as we get outside we are surrounded by paparazzi.

"Damn it" I hear Kyla mutter.

Ah! I forgot to mention even though Ashley is my wife I'm not famous because of her. I'm a successful movie and television show director, and Kyla is a big time actress. She's even starred in some of my movies. Which is how we've become such good friends since high school. In high school we weren't that close and mainly carried on a conversation when Ashley or Kelly Clarkson was involved. That's about it on that subject for now.

"Spencer! Spencer! Is it true that you're divorcing Ashley?" One reporter asks.

"Kyla are you angry at Ashley for what she's done?" Another one asks.

"Uh…DUH!" Kyla says like the reporters are incompetent or something. It's kind of funny if you ask me.

"No comment," I answer there still probing questions.

"Where is Ashley now? Do you know if she is still cheating," Even though I appear strong on the outside, these comments still sting on the inside.

"I don't know and I don't care," Ha take that you nosy hooligans!

We rush to Kyla's car and quickly get in starting the car immediately.

"Thank God that's over!" Kyla says exhaustedly. I feel ya dude.

"I know right! I thought I would have to call the police or something. Or even throw a couple punches in their direction."

Kyla looks at me skeptically. I could so punch someone. I mean it! I even almost punched a mirror, but then I thought it would be a bad idea, and a spill I wouldn't want to clean up.

"Alright Spence, don't get too ahead of yourself there." She says laughing. Whatever I could do it.

"Shut up and drive women!" Hehe that's a good song. One of Rihanna's best if I do say so myself.

"Oooo I love it when you get aggressive towards me," Umm…doesn't everyone?

"Just call me your neighborhood pimp!" I say jokingly, which causes Kyla to bust out in laughter. Not that pimps are a joking matter. It's just- well you get the point.

"Soo Starbucks of food first?" she asks, which of course I answer the obvious:

"Starbucks baby!" Did I mention that I loveee Starbucks? I really do. It's like amazing! Best thing since television, I think.

"Okay okay! You do realize you're a feign right?" Kyla asks. Is it that obvious?

"Yes ma'am! I do!" I reply. She just smirks and turns her attention to the road.

"So have you gotten all your stuff from the house yet?" I didn't take all my things from me and Ashley's house, only the essentials. From what I know she still lives there and refuses to move on the note that she thinks I'm joking and going to take her back. This is completely ludicrous to me, but whatevs.

"No not yet. You're going to have to call her and let me know of a date she's not going to be there so I can go; I only have a few things left to collect. I still don't feel comfortable being someplace alone with her.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Kyla are you sure she's not going to be there?" I ask Kyla seriously over the phone. This is the first time I'm going over to me and Ashley's house since I've left her.**_

"_**Yea Spence, she said she has a meeting to go to from 2pm for about two hours. Of course I didn't tell her that you would be picking up some of your stuff personally. I think she thinks I'm coming or maybe Glen. I don't know as long as you get in and out without her adding any complications to the already complicated situation." I agree completely.**_

"_**Alright thanks Kyla."I answer**_

"_**No problem Spence. Be safe." Always the cautious one she is.**_

_**We hang up and I try to think of things to try and busy myself with until two o'clock rolls around. It's currently 11:49, so I have about two hours left to spare. I heard cleaning is the perfect remedy to a bad break up, so I begin to clean everything in my eyesight. I head to the kitchen first and clean everything in it until I see my reflection shining back at me. Then I head to the bathroom on the first level and so on and so on. I got a great deal on this condo located in West Hollywood. I live at the top of my building on the fourth floor with smaller apartments below. Its two floors complete with four bedrooms, four bathrooms, and a spacious kitchen and living room. There is also an office that I built in along with an extra entertainment room. I make enough money to buy myself a castle, but who needs all that space? I sure don't, and I'm very happy with this place. Well, I'll be happier when all my stuff is here to accompany me.**_

_**Before I know it it's two o'clock and I'm double checking to make sure all my lights are out and that I have my cell phone before walking out the door. It doesn't take me long to get to Ashley's place. I refuse to call it out home; it's either Ashley's house or me and Ashley's old home. I quickly park in the huge curved driveway that I've parked so many times before, and head to the main door. I ring the doorbell and wait to check and make sure no one's home. I get no response so take that as my cue to enter. I rush up to the main bedroom and quickly begin to pack the suitcase I brought with me with clothes. I know I have time, but I'm paranoid so I won't take any chances on 'her' getting home early. I'm almost done when I hear a sniffle coming from behind me.**_

_**I freeze knowing who it is, but not wanted to face 'her'. **_

"_**Sp-Spence, what are you dong?" She asks almost timidly. Too bad I won't fall for her bull this time.**_

"_**It's Spencer to you," I say angrily, not exactly knowing where the sudden anger came from. She looks surprised that I've sudden grown some backbone, and I admit so am I, but my name sounded do foreign coming from her lips that I can't possibly bear it.**_

"_**Spence-Spencer I don- I don't understand," She mutters in complete stupor. I look at her with such disgust, so much that it feels like an out of body experience.**_

"_**What isn't there to get Ashley, I'm leaving you! That seems pretty simple to me," I say exhausted of having to always have this conversation with her.**_

"_**But you always- you always say that but you never have. Spence- I mean Spencer, you-you can't leave me okay! I'm sorry for what I did! I really am, I'll be better I promise!" She cries desperately. But she did this to herself, and I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for her.**_

"_**I am Ashley. This time I'm serious, I'm tired of you always disrespecting me and this relationship. I'm done Ashley. We're done. Whether you want us to be or not," I say calmly, trying to really drive my point home.**_

"_**But Spencer I-you can't-" she fumbles with her words; I can't bear it so I do what she's been good at for so long. I bail; I quickly grab my newly packed suitcase and rush out of there, get in my car, and speed off to my new home where my newly single journey will begin.**_


	4. Chapter 4

I've had about eight cups of coffee, or maybe more I lost count. Each one was mixed with something different so I'm probably going to be sick later, but whatevs it's Starbucks!

"Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!" I scream out through the car window to all of Los Angeles to hear.

"Woooo! I'm free!" Haha well its true…

"Spencer! Get your ass inside this window before I push you all the way out!" Man! Kyla's such a party pooper.

"Okay, okay" I mumble dejectedly. Someone's always trying to ruin my fun. I'm young! I should be livin' it up each and everyday!

"Hey Spence?" The clouds are white but the sky is blue, why is that?

"Yesssss Kyla?" drawing out each 's'.

"Why do you always act high when you drink coffee?" Well that's a good question .

"Wellll if you must know I'm highly tolerant to coffee's evil power of caffeine high-ness?" I think that's a word, I'm not too sure.

"Umm…No your not you blond bimbo" Did she just insult me!

"Um…I'm not blond! Who's the bimbo now?" Take that evil woman! Hehe

"Yeaaa okay Spence" Am I blond? Maybe I'm not as tolerant as I thought.

We arrive at the airport a little later and by then I've come off my so called 'coffee high'.

I love watching planes take off! It's sensual and relaxing and a great way to spend time with someone you love. Ashley thought it was boring and only came with me twice because I begged her. All of this realization makes me wonder how I stayed with her. Why should I beg my wife to spend time with me doing something I want to do once in while? Was I so blinded by my love for her that I forgot to live my life for me? I get upset thinking over this; like I could've somehow prevented it.

Kyla and I watch two planes take off the runway silently comforting each other; from what I don't know. After we see the third plane take off Kyla whispers to me:

"Hey Spence you want to know something?" The tone in her voice lets me know that it's secret time.

"Mhm!" I mumble excitingly.

"Back in high school, a little after I moved in with Ashley and Christine, I became a bit jealous of Ashley." Well of course! She knew you guys' dad better than you did.

"Well duh she knew you guys' dad better than you did," I repeat out loud.

"Well yea. But I was also jealous of what she had with you," I'm confused now.

"Wait-what?"

"Spence you guys had the love and bond that everyone wishes to have at our age, you know? And you had the qualities I wanted in my dream guy, like seriously if you were a dude I'd be all over you!" Well who wouldn't?

"Kyla, I don't know if you know this but Ashley and my sex life was so good particularly because I have a penis." Hehe I do seriously, it grows when I'm horny and then goes away.

"Really now? Why haven't I seen this "so called penis?" she says excitedly.

"You haven't asked!" This is fun.

"Well I'm asking now!" Now how am I going to pull this off?

"I have to be horny Kyla, it doesn't just come up," Good good! Make up stuff to stall.

Kyla leans over and traces her finger over my bottom lip.

"You have extremely jealous-worthy lips," Thanks! I think…

"You know, if I didn't know you I would totally think you were bisexual," What? I would.

"Spence, you definitely wouldn't be the first girl I've experimented with" Hmm…interesting.

"So you are bisexual?" C'mon admit it woman.

"I didn't say that," Kyla says in a sing-song voice.

"You totally are!" I knew it!

"Haha I'm not, but honesty speaking I can only ever see myself being with someone like you guy or girl." I like compliments.

"You speak of me like I'm some sort of Saint." I'm not that awesome. Just kidding I am.

Another plane begins to take off and I take a moment to enjoy the sight. I've never felt so at peace in my life; this moment right here is what really counts. I turn towards Kyla and see her looking at me pensively.

"You really don't know your worth, do you?" Eh, about a trillion bucks!

"What do you mean?" I reply.

"You know what I think? I think the main reason you stayed with Ashley without the extra nagging from me is sort of like her hesitation at prom with Aiden." Now I'm intrigued.

"He was her safety net, someone she could always fall back on; her own personal security blanket. You never got to hear anyone else speak so highly of you because you've only ever known Ashley's comments." This actually kind of makes sense.

"So you're saying if I would dated someone besides back in college Ashley would've recognized my worth as well as myself?" I think I deciphered that right.

"Exactly and I'm almost sure this wouldn't have been the outcome of your relationship if so." Kyla explains.

"You're right, I mean it kind of ticks me off that this could've been avoided but it happened and I can't change it." I respond.

"And I mean…you always have me!" Kyla exclaims.

I go to hug Kyla because seriously I don't know how I would've survived this messy situation without her support. She's so much more than a best friend to me but not a lover or anything, just my own personal security blanket.

We leave the airport and head back to mi casa. The roads are clear and we have the top down on Kyla's car, feeling the wind rip through our hair. We pull into my driveway and it seem like my day just went from bad to worse. I get out of the car slamming the door in the process and walk up to her and immediately prepare to go ape shit.

"Ohh shit" I hear Kyla mutter from behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing here? How did you find where I live now?" Hear that? That's me going ape shit.

"Look Spence, you cannot be serious on leaving me. I mean what kind of nonsense is that, where married for Christ's sake." Guess I don't have to tell you that that voice belongs to none other than Ashley.

"Are you serious right now? Do you actually think she's going to stay with you after you cheat on her God only knows how many times?" Yep, Kyla's speaking up now.

"Stay out of this Kyla! You think I don't know about your little crush you've had on Spencer since high school?" Ashley yells, to which Kyla laughs incredulously.

"Right! Well at least I would've treated her way better than you ever did!" Kyla yells back.

"Woah Kyla you had a crush on me? Aww you're so cute!" Yea, that's me.

"Spence seriously?" Ashley exclaims at my remark, while Kyla blushes profusely.

"Yea I think it's cute," Ashley just looks at me like she doesn't even recognize me.

Which makes sense because while she was having sex with everyone with legs I was discovering myself and becoming a new woman. I live free and have learned to not love so easily.

"This is unbelievable! My own sister is fucking my wife," Halt let's put this in reverse.

"Hold the fuck up! If I sleep with someone else it's oh so horrible, but when you do it its fine. What is that?" Like c'mon seriously.

"I'm not saying that Spence, I-"

"It's Spencer!" I interrupt loudly.

"Sorry Spencer, but this just can't be happening," I still don't understand what's so hard to comprehend about this.

"Well it is Ashley, and you have no one to blame but yourself."

"Okay okay, maybe we're just going about this the wrong way. I-we could go to counseling and get help marriage and relationship wise. How about that? That sound nice?" she says persuasively.

"We tried that Ashley and you thought it was a waste of time, and that we didn't need it remember?" I reply calmly.

"But I didn't take you serious then! I-I'm ready now Spencer, I promise." I don't think I can take this anymore.

"Ashley just go home. This-it's too soon for all of this okay. Just stop it, for right now please." I beg her gently.

"Spence-I can't-I'm," she stutters.

I walk past her leaving her flailing at grasping at the situation. I don't know how much more I can take of this, it hurts so much. I don't know whether to sincerely believe her or not because she's hurt me so many times before, but yet my body still tingles a bit when she addresses me.

"It'll be okay Spence, it'll all be okay," Kyla whispers in my ear soothingly. I sure hope she's right.


	5. Chapter 5

OMG i am soo sorry for the long update! probably the longest in history. My computer crashed and school has been kicking my ass! I hate being an over-achiever! But anyways hope you enjoy!

* * *

After we get inside, Kyla and I walk over to the couch and sit down.

I turn on the TV and immediately turn to some good ol' Spongebob SquarePants.

"Spence really?" Kyla asks.

"What it's the ultimate pick me up!" I respond. I mean c'mon its Spongebob.

"Gimme that," she says as she tackles me for the remote.

"Okay okay! Geeze no need to kill me," This chick is crazy fo'reals.

Kyla surfs through some channels and finally settles on some music videos.

"This my friend is the ultimate pick me up," she says excitedly. I mean I guess…

"Hey Ky, u wanna see my cat daddy?" I am the best dougier and jerker! If those are actual words.

"Spence you cannot even dance," she says smartly.

"You wanna bet on this," I say back.

"Nope, because I know for sure you cannot dance." She retorts.

I get up and show my cat daddy moves to her. I get down and begin to jerk and break dance. If ya'll didn't already know I'm a beast at dancing, don't let the sweet innocent look fool you. I can even krump! But we're not even about to go there.

Laughing hysterically Kyla says, "Alright you got it, now please stop!" Haha yea I think I'll stop now.

"Yea that's how we do it in the A!" I shout.

"Spence you do realize we live in California and not Atlanta right?" o trueeeeee.

"Shut up! I know this, I was just quoting," Yea that's exactly what I was doing.

"Sureeeee you were," She thinks she's so smart.

"Anywayz homie we needs to do something tonight cuz I gotta get it in yo," I actually have no idea what I just said. Is that a bad thing?

"Yea I feel u cuz," Alright well at least someone knows what I'm asking.

"Okay cool beans," hehe I said cool beans.

"Spence stop talking to yourself in your head," Kyla says breaking me from my inner ramblings.

"Whoa! Get outta my head dude," Kyla is so freaking creepy.

"Yea yea I'm a creep, yadda yadda life goes on. I say we go to Ego tonight and get smashed then go to Exotyc and get smashed some more and then—," Okay so I'm sensing a theme here.

I cut her off, "Why must we get smashed so many times in a night?" I'm just curious is all.

"Well my friend we need to get completely trashed to uhh…well we just need to," Alright that explanation works for me.

"I feel like prank calling someone," Preferably someone who is trying to get back into my good graces again.

"Haha do it," Kyla responds giving me her approval. System is a go!

I grab my cell phone and dial Ashley's number; to bad I can't erase these digits from my memory. It begins to dial and I begin to feel anxious for this prank to go well.

"Hello," Ashley answers. She sounds tired, I wonder what from? Hmm

"Hello Ashley," I respond in my seductive voice. Kyla laughs quietly, and I begin to wish Ashley didn't have caller ID or this would have been twice as funny.

"Spen—,"she clears her throat. "Spencer what's going on? Are you okay?" she sounds almost frantic when asking these questions. I put the phone on speaker so Kyla can hear her.

"Oh I'm fine, what's up with you?" I need to think something up quick or she's going to figure out what's going on here.

"Spencer not that I mind or whatever, but earlier you were pissed beyond words at me and now your calling me asking what I'm doing. I don't understand." She really sounds confused I almost feel bad.

"Ashley I'm simply calling my soon to be ex-wife to find out when she will be signing those lovely divorce papers I had my lawyer give her," Man that was so mean.

Suddenly I hear a burst of sobs coming from Ashley's end. I glance at Kyla alarmed.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," I mouth to her.

"W-t-f," she mouths back. I chuckle at her weirdness.

"Spen—cer you can't leave me! Please don't do this! God please! I didn't mean to betray you! I'll be better to you, I swear! Plea—give me another chance!" Ashley says through her sobs.

"Wow Ashley, I mean that was well said but I mean you're doing all of this kind of late," That was mean wasn't it?

"God Spence, I'm just trying here. At least give me that," she responds a lot calmer now.

"Look Ashle—" I start before she cuts me off.

"Spencer please don't do this! At least not immediately! Let me prove I can be you wife, just let me try. Spence plea—" Oh! Now I'm mad.

"Are seriously asking me to give you another chance for what like the 30th time! Are you kidding me! You must be high!" Yeah! Take that! I made sure to yell right into the speaker piece so she could hear every last word.

"Spencer I know what I'm asking is a lot, but please!" She says trying to calm me down.

"You know what Ashley you should really stop using that word it just doesn't fit you," I slam the phone shut and turn to Kyla.

"Do you wanna watch Spongebob now?" Just what I need. I feel my emotions lightning up a bit.

"Yes please," I respond almost shyly while Kyla picks up the remote and turns to Nickelodeon.

We watch Spongebob for God knows how many hours before we eventually drift off to sleep, this time completely aware of the proximity of our bodies.-


	6. Chapter 6

Ok this took a good minute to write! sorry about that school ended and I became lazy...so anywayz for some reason some words aren't showing up but not any major ones so without further or do...

* * *

The sun peaks through the huge floor to ceiling windows in the living room, causing the two occupants to begin to wake.

_Today is going o be a nice day…I hope. I mean, the sun is out and the weather's supposed to be just right. Wait a minute, who are my arms wrapped around? Oh yeah! Kyla. This girl, always trying to cuddle with someone. She so needs a cat._

"Good morning Spence, you mind stop thinking so hard this early in the morning," Kyla asks. I resent that statement.

"You're so not funny! Just for that comment we're never cuddling again," I threaten.

"Noooo then what will our sleepovers consist of if no cuddling is allowed?" she responds.

"Well I can think of a few things," I say wiggling my eyebrows in the process.

"You have been with Ashley way too long my friend," Ugh don't remind me.

"Blah! So what are the plans for today considering I have no life?" I wanna do something fun, maybe the beach.

"We could go to the beach and chill. They just opened a new seafood restaurant on the boardwalk yesterday!" She says excitedly. I swear she's so creepy with the whole mind reading thing.

"Yeaaaa let's do that!" I wonder if they have cheesecake there. Hmm…random thought. A nice berry che–.

"I don't think they have desserts like cheesecake there though if that's what you were wondering," Kyla speaks over my train of thought.

"Wow! Dude, you are the very definition of creepy I was just thinking of how much I would love it if they served cheesecake," We so need to go see a professional about this.

"Hmm…weird, anyways let's get this show in the road shall we?" Kyla says to me while getting off the couch to go shower.

We get ready and head to the beach for some fun, thank god it's the weekend I only have one more day of relaxation though. We get to the beach and find a perfect spot to set up camp before we begin to strip down to out bikinis. Mine is sky blue and Kyla's is fire engine red. We look HOT! So naturally we are getting stares.

"Omg Kyla! I think I see a dolphin in the distance," It's too far away to really tell though. It might even be a shark, but let's hope not.

"Oooo I see it! I totally wish it was closer so I can get a picture of it," Kyla says looking in the direction of said creature.

We lay down and began to tan a little before we get into the water. I love tanning its very relaxing, but not too much! Don't wanna start looking like Snooki now do we?

"Let's get in the water," Kyla states. We go over and slowly make our way into the cold water. After the water becomes bearable, we start a mini splash fest. We look back onto the beach and relish in the fact that there are still happy couple and families out there. I point to a cute elderly couple softly peddling in the water not too far from us.

"They are too adorable," I squeal still looking at the couple.

"Ugh I so don't wanna be reminded of my nonexistent love life," Kyla complains.

"Psh, at least you're not going through a divorce under the age of 30," I complain back.

"True, do you think you could ever forgive her? I mean like forgive forgive her?" Kyla asks softly.

"Honestly Kyla I could forgive her if I truly believed she has changed. It's like she will always have a grip on me whether I like it or not. I mean I wouldn't just forgive her right off the bat; she would have to work for it. I just wish that we would've held off on the whole marriage thing, you know? Like, if we would've just waited another year or even took those marriage classes my mom suggested before we got married this could've turned out so much better for the both of us. I wouldn't be living in a separate house wondering what I did to make my marriage fall apart."

"That's the thing Spencer, you didn't do anything! Ashley's just selfish and thinks she can have anything she asks for and more. With her the sky was never the limit! She's always been like that Spencer, and it just took you until now to finally realize it." Kyla kind of had a point.

"Its like I can see so much clearer now, you know? I'm not so blinded by my love for her that I can finally spot her flaws." Now that I think about it she does some very annoying things that really piss me off.

"Well Spence to tell you the truth I think she's really serious about getting her life together this time. At first, I thought it was all an act but after she came to your house the other day and we left her outside I went over to her place to see if she got the papers yet, like you asked me to, the door was unlocked so I went right in and the place was a mess Spence. Like everything was out of order! The couch was turned over, the TV was busted and knocked off the wall and there were shards off glass everywhere. I checked the garage to see if her car was there, but it wasn't so I assumed she wasn't home and just left." Wow I didn't think this would be affecting her as much.

"Well its something to think about I guess," I say after a prolonged silence.

"Yea it is, let's go eat I'm starved!" Kyla says changing the subject.

We grab our things and walk over to the car to pack it up. After everything is locked up we go to the showers and wash the sand off ourselves and put on the extra pair of clothes we brought with us. We get to the restaurant and decide to sit outside to have a good view of the beach and its inhabitants.

"Hello my name is Ramon and I will be your waiter for today, what beverage can I get for you ladies today?" I already love this place, might have to make this a regular hangout spot.

"Hi, can I get a Diet Coke please?" Kyla asks sweetly.

"Hiya! I'll have a ," I looovvveee ! .Ever.

"You're going to turn into a one day if you don't slow down buddy," Kyla tells me jokingly.

"Minor details mi amiga, oohhh don't look but there is a hottie eying you at 7 o'clock." He is so checking her out! The waiter brings us our drinks as Kyla registers what I just said.

"Spence how are you possibly seeing behind you?" Huh? I'm confused.

"What are you talking about?" I say to eyeing her like she's crazy.

"7 o'clock is behind you," Ah I get it now.

"No Ky, I'm 12 o'clock and you're 6 o'clock." I immediately see everything click in her head.

"Ohhh," she says laughing.

"Okay I'm going to point to something over there and you're going to take a quick peek and turn back around and comment on whatever it is," I'm a genius, that's a great plan!

"Okay okay good plan!" she whispers excitedly. See even she agrees.

I quickly search for something mildly interesting on the other side of the restaurant. I spot a jukebox and immediately point at it while gesturing madly to it. Kyla turns and 'surveys' the jukebox before turning around again.

"Omg Spence he looks like a mix of Brad Pitt and Zac Efron! But what if he's checking you out and not me," Kyla whispers back once she's got a good look at him.

"Well I guess we're about to find out," I whisper as I see the guy get up from his table and head in our direction.

"Uhh…Hi m-my name is uhh Cody Jensen. I uhh saw you guys sitting over here and I thought I would come and introduce myself as you know, Cody Jensen, and you're just really pretty so I thought I would jus–and uhh I'm just going to shut up now," Aww he's blushing. By the way he said all of that looking in Kyla's direction, so I guess we figured out who he's interested in.

"Hi, I'm Kyla Woods and this is my best friend Spencer Carlin," I do a quick wave to him.

"Yea I uhh know who you guys are. You do realize you're famous right? I mean– that's not why I'm talking to you right now or anything! I don't want anything from you and I'm not some type of con artist or anyth–," Cody says to us, his eyes getting wide as saucers.

"Woah buddy we're not accusing you of anything," I say to calm him down a bit, while Kyla just giggles at his rambling.

"Sorry, I'm just–sorry," Cody says to us. He's cute; I could totally see him with Kyla.

"Cody, you said your name was?" Kyla asks with a sweet smile, which totally makes him melt.

"Ye–yea Cody is my name," Thanks for the repeat sir! Ouch that was mean Spencer!

"Why don't you come join us for some lunch?" Kyla asks seeing my consent through my eyes. He rushes off with an "okay" and gets his things and pulls up a chair at our table.

To say that was an interesting lunch would be an understatement. I left with a satisfied stomach and Kyla left with a phone number and a promised call. Kyla and Cody really clicked, so much that it felt like they were on a date and I was intruding. I'm happy though he seems genuine and not after her for her money like most guys she encountered. Plus he was hella fine! He had a strong body frame; nice baby face, eight pack abs that I could spot through his tight wife beater, shoulder length blond surfer hair, nice biceps and triceps, a Taylor Laughtner tan, and blue green eyes. All-in-all he looked kind of like me!

"God he was so deliciously good looking Spence," Kyla says breaking me from my inner thoughts.

"I know! When are you going to call him?" I feel like I'm sixteen again.

"I don't know! When do you think I should?" She responds.

"ASAP! He's probably thinking that you were just being nice to him and took pity!" Poor guy looked like he didn't believe her when she said she would be in touch with him to arrange a date later this week.

"Your right, he looked like he didn't believe me when I said I would be in touch with him to arrange a date later this week," Kyla says to me.

"Okay, you really need to get out of my head it's really getting freaky now!" I yell at her semi joking.

"Yea yea I think I'm gonna text him now," She says excitedly

This day couldn't have ended any better! Kyla's finally getting some action, I had some good lunch, what else can happen to heighten this day for me. My phone ringing pulls me out of my thoughts and I answer it without looking at the caller.

"Helloooo Spencer Carlin speaking," I sing happily into the phone.

"He–hey Spencer," You can not be serious right now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay so I know its been awhile! Please don't hate me! Laziness and school are to blame. I hope no one gave up on my story just yet! Read and commmeeenntttt pretty please.. okay so its short but its something.**

* * *

Have you ever reached that point in your life when you just get really annoyed by persistent phone calls? I mean I don't get annoyed easily, but this is just ridiculous.

"Ashley whaaaatttt?" I whine into the phone, knowing it's her on the other end.

"Spence I just really need to talk to you okay, please?" She whispers cautiously through the phone, trying not to upset me.

"Well I'm not in the mood to hear you begging and pleading your case, so if you don't mind…" I say to her, trailing off at the end of the sentence.

"Look Spence−"Ashley replies trying to talk over my sighs.

"No you look Ashley!" I harshly say over her, "I'm getting sick and tired of you just feeling like I'm going to give into to you with a little persistence. I need time Ashley, months not days! You sound do pathetic I can't even stand it! You know me Ashley, I don't like weak people and everyday you call me crying and half completing sentences sounding like a wounded animal," I all but yell into the phone.

"I just cannot take this anymore, you're driving me crazy! I am so close to just changing my phone number and moving away and not telling you the new address." I finish in a calm tone.

"I'm so sorry, I just−I just want you to realize that! That's why I'm persisting we talk in person, and not have screaming matches over the phone. I want to get better Spencer, for you and me. I want to be that girl you fell madly in love with in high school again. I know you don't believe a word I'm saying and I know I'll have to spend a long time trying to prove this to you. But, you are my world Spencer. I−I don't have a reason to get up anymore. I sound pathetic mainly because it's how I feel. I don't …I don't know how to exist without you Spencer." She finishes in a whisper.

"Ashley, look, I realize that you may see a future for us but quite frankly I don't. Not anymore. You just can't apologize and hope for the best outcome. I loved you with every last breath Ashley. I've put up a wall that even I don't know how to tear down. I need to figure out life on my own, without you pressuring me. So if that means I have to change everything and withhold my whereabouts to do so, I will Ashley. I need time to experience life away from your spotlight; I need to meet new people and possibly experience love in another less painful form. I just need a break from _you_ Ashley Davies." I say shedding a few tears with those last words, and hanging up.

At least now I know that I haven't become a total heartless being. I just wish that hadn't hurt so much.

* * *

I pull up to the house and find Madison just about to knock. This is weird considering I haven't talked to her in awhile, since I know she's been comforting Ashley since the separation. You see, Madison pretty much sided with me and was pretty close to kicking Ashley's ass after she found out what she did but I begged her not to and to stay in Ashley's life since everyone else pretty much took an exit. Since high school Madison did a complete 360 with her personality. She became less of a bitch and more of a friend. I guess after figuring out people only hung out with her for her reputation she needed a change. I practically had to beg her to even treat Ashley the same way as before.

"Madison wassappp," I jokingly call for her. She turns around, seeing me approaching, and skips over. I have missed her so I'm happy that she's dropping by.

"Hey girly! I haven't seen you in a minute, I was almost tempted to knock your door down but since you're here…" she says trailing off at the end, but still smiling all the while.

"Yea right, that would've been a sight!" we laugh as I open the front door and throw my keys in the bowl, and hang my jacket on the rack.

"So how've you been Spence?" she questions, seemingly knowing the answer.

"Ehh, you know, gotta take it one day at a time," I say heading to the kitchen with Madison trailing me.

"I feel ya buddy, that's the best thing you can do right now," she tells me hopping up on the counter.

"Get your big ass off my clean counters hoe! And that's the _only_ thing I can do right now," I yell jokingly.

"Hey! My ass may be big but are you implying that it is dirty?" hehehe yes…?

"Haha no, I don't know why I even bother, you never get down anyways," she has a thing for sitting on my counter. She says it's because it's really smooth; I mean it is marble and all.

"That's what I'm saying. Anyways Ashley hasn't been blowing up your phone has she?" Madison inquires.

"Oh my gosh, yes! She called me after my lunch with Kyla to be exact," I tell her.

"Damnit! I told her specifically not to call you, you probably need some time to cool off without her adding pressure to the situation," She took the words right out of my mouth.

"That's exactly my point, I told her that too. I feel that I may need to just change my number and get out of L.A. for awhile," this just feels like something I have to do.

"Spence you just do what you have to do. I think that that could be a good thing for you; to get away from all the drama and paparazzi. You really just need to go find yourself again because you sort of lost your way in the shadow of yours and Ashley's career. Go find some foreign chicks to rock your world for a month or two! Not that I want you to do it to get back at Ashley, but to just get the feel of another woman. You've been with Ashley since high school; you never really got the chance to experience other girls and relationships. You're still young for god sakes! Loosen up and live a little!" she yells already heading to my laptop to book me a flight I'm sure.

"Well this should be interesting…" I whisper to myself thinking this just may work.


End file.
